June 11th, 2019
Only a few days left until we’re officially half way done, which comes with mixed emotions. This week I’ve been struggling between many different feelings, peace and happiness mixed with feeling tired and wanting alone time, mixed in with a little homesickness. At this point I’m craving a proper summer, complete with me sitting by a pool basking in the sun. However, due to Ireland’s 60 degree weather and my busy schedule, my reality is far from that. But, I am in Ireland and doing an internship that is teaching me so much. I have the opportunity to travel, meet new people and get great business experience. Week 3 ended with a trip to Galway, the Cliffs of Moher and many pubs. But I didn’t feel like I was fully able to enjoy all that with my emotions playing tug-of-war. However, I’m letting these emotions come and go and allowing myself to just be in the moment.
In the office, this week I have had more independence and have been working on more of a long term project. I’ve been struggling because I feel like I should be working faster through this project, and I’m not. I’ve been reassured that the project is no rush and that I can work at my own pace, but the American in me still feels self-conscious about it. I think the NACE skill I used most this week was leadership, and having to take control of pacing myself. I am almost done with the project but have definitely strengthened my skills working with the software as a result.
Something that I want to try to work on is taking time for myself, but not too much. Finding a balance between hanging out with friends and having personal time. I hope to travel this coming weekend and end week 4 on a good note. It can be hard sometimes to allow myself to feel a little down, especially when I am in the middle of such an amazing experience but I know myself, and I know that allowing myself to feel down for a little bit will allow me to enjoy the rest of the time more. I’ll get my “proper” summer in 4 weeks when I get home, and I know the minute I get there, I’ll be wishing I was right back here. So I’m going to take it all in and feel all the feelings, because soon enough I’ll be sitting poolside basking in the sun…
